


Doggie Treats

by WhoInWhoville



Category: Broadchurch, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Rose and Tony are there in a non-shippy way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 16:59:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9616961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoInWhoville/pseuds/WhoInWhoville
Summary: Alec is roped into judging a dog show.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Not part of the ClosedVerse. Total crack. Inspired by David Tennant's appearance at the Chiswick dog show back in 2016.
> 
> I wrote this, and thought I had posted it, but I guess I didn't. Just in a fic sorta mood. So here you go.

“Inspector! You will stop talking and listen to me. And listen to me carefully.”

Alec planted his hands on his hips and shuffled his feet a few times.

“You will show up at the park tomorrow, and you will be on your best behavior. That means smiling at strangers. And talking. No sarcasm. No complaining. No… _investigating._ Just judging.”

The detective sucked air through his teeth, and then nodded. 

“Oh don’t be so sour. It will be fun. You and Ellie will enjoy yourselves. It’ll be a lark. You get the whole afternoon off. Supposed to be a lovely sunny day tomorrow.” 

Chief Superintendent Jenkinson returned her attention to her work as he made his escape. 

Ellie Miller shuddered as the glass separating his office from the rest of the world rattled. 

“Don’t slam the door!” She looked down at her work. “Plonker. I swear you’re going to rain shards of glass down on me one of these days.”

oOo

“I really don’t need to be here. I have too much work to do.” Alec sipped tea from a flimsy paper cup. 

“Stop your complaining. It’s only a couple of hours. We’re here to honor Broadchurch’s police dogs. Haven’t you ever seen the memorial to of our fallen four-legged officers? It’s back behind the station. There’s a lovely bronze fire hydrant with a plaque.”

“No, I can’t say that I have never stopped to read a fire hydrant.” He smirked.

“Too bad,” smiled Ellie wistfully. “It’s a lovely plaque. More than a few of us were misty-eyed the day it was dedicated.” She sniffed. “Well. Anyway. Moving on. Bunny was an extraordinary dog.”

“Bunny? His name was bunny?” He looked over his sunglasses.

“Her name. The cutest little Scottie you ever saw. Perfectly trimmed beard, pointy ears. Wore a plaid collar with a little bell at Christmas. Could sniff drugs from a mile away. Not a mile of course, but she was good. Very good.” Ellie took a sip of her latté and looked across the green. “Oh goodie! It’s about to start! Smile and wave Alec.”

“Right.” Alec touched his forehead with two fingers, saluting the competitors and their owners.

The partners stopped at each dog. Alec stood with his hands in his pockets and just watched. Ellie talked to the owners, and stroked the downy-soft heads of the little dogs snuggled into the arms of their children.

“What’s this one dressed as now?” Ellie asked a little girl. 

“She’s the Blue Fairy,” replied the child.

“And this one?” Ellie asked the next down the line.

“The Pink Princess of Rainbow Land.”

There were more variations on the princess and fairy theme, with a few kings and princes for good measure.

“Why do all of these dogs look like they’ve been caught in a fairy dust factory explosion?” Alec asked Ellie.

“Because it’s cute.”

But the last dog stood out from the rest. He was massive. 

“Oh would you look at this one. The dog is bigger than the kid.” Ellie laughed. She pushed Alec on the back and charged towards the giant beast and red-headed child wearing a red cowboy hat with white stitching.

“Hello. Who do we have here?” Ellie asked, smiling. 

“This is Tiny.”

Alec smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Sorta obvious name,” he muttered to himself. 

Ellie shot him daggers with her eyes. 

“Can I pet your dog?” asked Ellie.

“Sure.”

“Hello, Tiny. Aren’t you a good boy. Oh yes you are. Yes you are!” Ellie cooed. She ruffled behind his floppy ears black ears. “And what’s your name, little man?”

“I’m Tony Tyler, and I’m here with my sister who is taking a mini-break from work. She works too much, and Mum said she was turning into a right beast so Mum sent me off with my sister because my sister always acts good around me ‘cos I’m so cute.”

Ellie laughed. “Come here Alec and take a look at this fine dog.” 

Alec stood at least five feet away, arms crossed.

“Hey, mister,” said the little boy. “Both of you are police officers, right?”

Alec raised his eyebrows above the rims of his sunglasses. “That’s right. I’m a Detective Inspector, specifically.”

“That’s cool. Wanna pet my doggie?”

Alec rocked on his feet for a moment, and then approached the enormous hound. He held his hand above Tiny’s head. 

The dog looked up. 

His ears perked. 

And then he was up on his four long legs.

And then he sprang up on two hind legs. And before you know it, Tiny had his front paws on the tall detective’s shoulders.

“Down Tiny! You bad, bad dog! Get down right now! Tony, give me the lead. Give it here! Quick!”

A blonde woman grabbed the red line from the small child and snapped the lead once. “Get down, Tiny!” 

Before Tiny was persuaded to release the startled detective, his enormous, pink tongue ran up Alec’s cheek. He woofed once, low and bellowing, into the DI’s ear.

“I’m so, so sorry. I keep telling Mum that Tony’s too little to handle this dog, but—“ the blonde woman said.

“Sometimes I ride him like a pony,” Tony interrupted.

“Oh, I bet you do,” muttered Alec as he wiped his face with a his sleeve.

Ellie laughed. “So where is Tiny’s fancy dress? For the contest?”

“Oh, he don’t need no clothes.”

“Doesn’t, Tony,” corrected the blonde.

“He doesn’t need any clothes, ‘cos I’m his fancy dress!” Tony jumped on the horse’s back, and took a slow, loping ride around the detectives. 

“Get off the dog, Tony,” sighed the sister.

“Look at me, Rose! I’m a cowboy. Yeeeeee haw!” Tony lifted his cowboy hat into the air. “Ride ‘em cowboy!”

“Yes, I can see you riding our giant dog. Now you need to get _off_ the dog. Mum would send you inside if she saw you.”

Tony slid off of the dog’s back, and tumbled onto the ground, laughing.

Alec took his sunglasses off, looked up and down the line of dogs he had just surveyed. 

“I don’t know about you, Miller, but he gets my vote. He isn’t sparkly. I’m going back to work.”


End file.
